Dalton Delan | The Unspin Room: Unidentified hot-air phenomena

Busted! You got me. Remember the cool helium-filled metallic balloons I was prepping in the yard for the graduation party? They slipped the knot and flew.

I’d been wondering how far afield they might have gotten. According to a conspiracy theory-fomenting report from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence last month, there were 18 cases of objects — don’t call them UFOs, they are now Unexplained Aerial Phenomena, or UAPs — which “appeared to remain stationary in winds aloft, move against the wind, maneuver…